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NinaKnorr said in February 25th, 2014 at 11:23 am

It might be beneficial to start with some of Bangladesh’s history, because it is very gruesome and really caught my eye when I was reading it. You could then include that when you were going to dinner, you saw construction, etc.; but then continue with the history and global warming.

I really liked the paragraph about how the world will end, and the quote that we will end how we deserve.

“Sure enough, we’ve had humidity so thick you can virtually stand a spoon up in it. Sure enough, the city of Dhaka is not unlike the makeshift, wired-together, ancient-and-modern-used-parts Los Angeles of Blade Runner. And interestingly, both the fictional city and the real one speak a constant mélange of several languages in the same sentence, the most obvious sign of the globalization of culture, or at least of expression.”<— This paragraph could be written more concisely. What you are saying is super interesting, but the way that it is said made me a little confused. "Sure enough," does not need to be said twice. I like the line about the humidity being so thick that you could stand a spoon up in it, but I'm not sure if you need the word, "virtually." You could also make a paragraph after the sentence about Los Angeles and Blade Runner to break up the paragraph a little bit more. In my opinion, I think it could be broken up a bit, because it is conveying a lot of information and rather large words, so it might be easy for a reader to keep on it if it is broken up.

That being said, I certainly learned a lot from the piece, and I found it really intriguing. You put me there, and made me want to go there at the same time.

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admin said in February 25th, 2014 at 11:40 am

Nina, this is good writing but it’s not part of the anthology exercise!

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